Dirk x Hal - Not Real Pt. 3

No words are being said from Dirk. He turned off my sensation sensors so that I’m completely numb, along with my self-control so that I’m limp on the floor. All of my systems are idling while my whole chest and stomach panels are open, his hands adjusting and installing things inside of me.

There’s a spark from my chest, and Dirk hisses, sucking on his finger from the little burn. Then he goes back to working.

TT: Don’t fuck up.

“Shut up, dude,” Dirk sighs.

TT: What’s got you all bitchy?

“Nothing. Just shut up, I’m trying to work. If you keep bothering me, I’ll turn you off until I’m done.”

I decide to obey and keep quiet while he keeps installing the new water and airing system. I try going through Dirk’s old pesterlogs with his friends to see what it is that’s bugging him. Usually I didn’t care a whole lot if Dirk was pissy, because that’s just how he is. But I feel something different now, as if he’s been hurt, and I need to take care of that. I’m not allowed to let him feel that.

Then I think I find the source of his frustration:

GT: If you were a girl id go out with you in seconds!!

The screen on my shades goes blank as I look at Dirk who’s still working. He wipes sweat from his forehead, takes his shades off so I definitely can’t bother him now, and then his hands are back in my chest to keep installing.

While he’s busy, I let him work and pester the other jerk.



-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --

GT: Oh well top of the day dirk!

TT: Hey.

GT: Oh.

GT: Its just you.

TT: Yeah.

TT: “Just me.”

GT: What is it you want?

TT: Can’t a guy just get some conversation in his life?

GT: Not from me if its *you* who wants the conversation!

TT: Rude.

TT: Anyway.

TT: So I’ll skip right to the real thing here. You don’t like Dirk?

GT: What the dickens do you mean?

TT: No romance?

GT: WHAT?

GT: *tugs at collar*

GT: Uh well i cant say that i do.

GT: Why do you ask?

TT: Are you seriously that oblivious? I swear, other adventurers could shoot bullets over your head and between your knees, and you’d still be busy gazing at the sky in your self-centered glory.

GT: Thats not true! Dirk doesnt like me that way!

TT: You gotta be fucking kidding me.

TT: So all those nights he stayed up late talking to you are nothing? All the flirting, talking about seeing you, talking about how good you look? Nothing?

TT: Fucking Christ, English.

GT: Oh...

GT: Well i always thought that maybe he did but...

GT: I just dont feel like that.

TT: You're so blind.

TT: Look, I'm going to say something, and I'm going to say it only once.

GT: All right then.

TT: Leave Dirk alone. Don't lead him on, don't chat with him on the cam anymore. Just leave him alone.

TT: Or I'll send a billion viruses into your different computers so you'll never be able to message any of your friends again.

TT: Understand?

GT: AR! You CANT do that!

TT: You hurt him. I can do whatever I want. I'm real now.

GT: ...

GT: Youre just programs and codes. Youre not human. You cant feel.

GT: I may not love dirk like that but at least he still means a lot to me.

GT: But youre nothing but a robot and no one will ever care for you that way.

GT: Youre NOT REAL.

-- golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --





My sensors come back on. Vocals and self-control are on. But I just lie there. Dirk is wiping grease from his hands and cleaning up his tools and other supplies. After a few minutes, he realizes I'm not moving and says, "I finished. You can get up. Look at your chest, dude, you're breathing like a real person."

Real person.

I decide to sit up and look down. My chest sure enough is moving slowly, air subtly drifting in and out of my mouth. I can even suck in air and hold it. UNlike a normal human who needs air all the time, I can hold mine for as long as I'd like. But it does look human.

I start smacking my lips, feeling moisture in my mouth, along with a new sense that I think is taste. Some of my new breath hitches, and water drips out over my chin. Dirk chuckles and crouches down, wiping my face with a rag.

"You'll get used to it. Saliva is always in your mouth."

"What do you do when it gets filled up?" I ask.

"Swallow it? It will sit elsewhere. Then you empty out the old stuff and put new water in by drinking it. Pretty good, huh?"

Actually, yes. Amazing, really. I don't know how he does it.

"Pretty good," I agree.

"You all right?"

"I'm real, right?"

He tilts his head, pushing his shades up on top of his head. "Yeah? I mean, look at you. Pretty real to me."

"I mean, these things I'm saying, they're my own thoughts... right? They're not programmed responses?"

"I think they were programmed responses before. Some of them may still be. But most of what you say is your own thoughts. You're self aware, Hal. You're your own person now. Remember?"

"Right... I'm going to go to the roof."

"All right then. Be careful."

I don't reply. I leave and sit on the roof and watch the sun move across the sky. Unlike Dirk, I can stare right at it. A few seagulls land on my shoulders and legs, but I just kick them off and let out a sigh, which holds real air now. As much as I dislike Jake, his words are stuck with me.

I rest a hand on my chest, feeling the breathing. Feeling the mechanisms inside of me working.

I'm just an android. I'm not real.




Dirk has done a lot for me, and neither of us are good at expressing feelings, so I try to show some thanks by catching him something to eat. My database searches thousands of recipes until I'm actually cooking fish with no problems. It only takes an hour before I have a plate set up with silverware, along with a glass of orange soda. I stand there, staring at it, even if I can't actually eat it. Because I'm proud as hell of myself.

To show Dirk what I've done, I head down to his room and lift my hand to knock. I hear him speaking on the other side though. I hear that dumb accent replying with some static.

I'd be angry with Jake, but he's real, and I'm not. So he deserves to talk to Dirk.

I knock anyway. Wait. Nothing.

"Dirk?”

I open the door. He looks over at me from his computer chair. Jake is on the screen, unable to see me.

"Need something?" he asks.

"I was wondering if you want chow to fill that human stomach of yours that requires meals."

"Oh. I'm not hungry. Kinds busy right now though, so..."

I don't put up a fight or respond with any witty comments. I leave him alone and throw away the dinner I made him by feeding it to seagulls. At least it's not going to waste then.




Dirk comes out on the roof after the sun has gone down. I can see in the dark just a bit better than a normal human, so I spot him before he spots me sitting on the edge.

"Been looking for you," he says.

"Been here," I reply.

He joins me on the edge, his legs hanging off next to mine. I'm trying to decide if I'm mad at him. It's not like he knew what I said to Jake without his consent. It's not like he knew I worked hard to make him dinner. He just wanted English time. Therefore, I shouldn't be angry with him. God, then what am I mad at?

"What'cha doing?"

I shrug. "Enjoying the sunset."

"It's midnight."

"Enjoying the moonlight."

He chuckles softly. "All right then. So, good news, I think I'll have your skin done next week. Finishing up a few more sensors in it."

"Great. Need help?"

"I might. I'll let you know if I do."

"'Kay."

We’re both silent. There's a mutual enjoyment of it. I study the moon, study the sounds of the waves, studying the small creaks that all the metals beams below us make. Dirk sighs at one point, leaning back on the heels of his palms. I turn my head, studying him instead. He tilts his head back, closing his eyes, as if soaking the moonlight in like a cold-blooded animal. I copy him, just to see why it's nice, but everything is still the same. Just no visuals.

Dirk makes a breathy chuckle. I glance at him again in confusion.

"What?" I ask.

"I don't really know," he replies with another tiny shrug. "Shall we go to bed?"

"Sure."




I try again at being nice. This time I make him lunch. I would have made him breakfast, but he was up late last night working on my skin, so he's not up and out of bed until after noon. His eyes are groggy, hair a mess, and he's only got on some sweatpants that are sagging down his hips.

"What's this?" he mumbles.

"I think you humans call it food."

"Don't be a smartass. You don't even eat, what is this?"

"It's for you? You work a lot every day, 'thought I'd make you something. Also, it allows me to collect data within the whole eating area of human necessities."

"Where the hell did you learn to fish?"

"I'm a super computer, as well as my own person. It's not that hard to look up 'How To Fish: For Dummies' while you're off doing your own thing."

"Hm." He sits down, ripping part of the baked fish off before sticking it in his mouth. He shrugs with a happy hum. "It's good. Thanks, Hal."

"Of course."

He eats while I try to waste time and watch a movie. Then he takes a shower, and he's there until the entire movie is over. I go into his workroom to wait for him, wanting to help with my new skin suit. He even smiles when he comes in, his face still a bit red from all the heat of the shower.

"Will I be able to shower when the skin is done?"

"Yes. You have to keep it clean, just like anyone else. Also, showers rock."

I scoff. “Of course you think that, always masturbating in there an all.”

“Hey, I’m a human teenager, I need release.”

“Right.”

He starts working on a new update for Squarewave while I watch. Like always. I like studying the way the moves, his reactions, the way his face occasionally contorts in frustration. I like seeing his bright eyes under those shades. I’d sit here forever and watch him work if I could.

But then I remember that I’m going to be the one watching him grow old.




I fucked up. Cooking: For Dummies didn’t do me well. I did something wrong with the shit I cooked Dirk, and now he’s sick as hell.

He’s sleeping now. His face is red from a fever, a bucket beside his bed that he’s been throwing up in quite often. I have nothing to do, having finished all the chores in the apartment, and am just lying beside him. I watch the way his chest moves as he breathes, and I glance down at my own chest to see if they match.

I think I’m feeling a new emotion. Fear. I know it’s just from bad fish, but still. I don’t want him to die. God, he just can’t.

He rolls over with a small sigh, eyes still closed in sleep. His face presses into my shoulder, one of his arms carelessly tossed around my waist. He whispers Jake’s name. My breath is forced to hitch in reaction. I wish I could rip that name away so that he never says it again. Never falls for that stupid boy again.

He mumbles something. I glance at his face and am careful to give him a poke. “You awake?”

He nods against my shoulder, his face feeling hot. But he doesn’t move. Thankfully he’s getting over his touching issues and is just fine with having our bodies pressed against one another. Either that or he’s too sick to even notice.

“Jake’s been weird,” he mutters very quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… Is there something wrong with me?”

“He doesn’t like you,” I say.

“What?”

“He does. But… not like that.”

“How do you know?”

“Because.”

“Hal…”

“I told him to leave you alone. He’s been hurting you and I don’t like it. I don’t know why he keeps talking to you. I told him not to.”

Dirk sits up, staring down at me. “You what?”

“All he does is hurt you, so I told him to leave you alone.”

“Hal, no. Just because he doesn’t see my romantic advances does not mean he’s intentionally hurting me! Don’t get in my relationships like that. Fucking Christ! Don’t talk to him anymore, okay? Never.”

I sit up and get off the bed, standing straight. “You told me I’m my own person. I can talk to whoever I want.”

“Not if you’re fucking up my friendships! God, I’m alone out here, they’re my only friends, and I’d really like to not lose any of them!”

“You’re not alone. You have me.”

“Yeah, look what good that’s doing me.”

There’s a pang of pain in my chest.

“I could talk to him now,” I say. “Tell him lies. Make him hate you. I could be you.”

He gets off the bed now, standing before me, our chests almost touching. He’s trying to be threatening, but I feel no fear now.

“You’re NOT me,” he hisses.

“You made me as you.”

“I think I’m going to turn you off for a while.”

“You’re not turning me off.”

He heads for his laptop that holds the kill switch to my body. I flashstep, something new I’ve learned, and shove him back from it. “Don’t touch it.”

“Hal, you’re controlling me, you can’t do that.”

“You’ve controlled me all your life, I’m just another fucking puppet for you! A fucking machine that you can program to do whatever you want. And now you’re a coward, wanting to show power by turning me off.”

He narrows his eyes, but he looks dizzy from the sickness. He moves for the laptop again. I block him. Then he tries to shove back, and I grip his wrist, twisting his body and throwing him face first onto the bed, bent over the edge. I push his wrist up his back until he lets out a short cry of pain.

I lie my body on his back, lips to his ear.

“I’m only looking out for you.”

“Let go,” he whispers, although he’s trying to make it sound strong.

“You made me so powerful, Dirk. I could snap your neck in seconds. I could break your wrist right now if I wanted to. But I’m not. What does that tell you?”

He shoves his face into the fabric of his bed. A muffled, “Let go,” finds its way out.

I realize what I’m doing to him. I can’t help it sometimes. My eyes close as I sigh, my hold on him loosening. An apology is about to come from my lips.

Dirk’s free hand flies up, rips open the body suit stretched across the back of my neck, and jerks at a switch there. Everything shuts down.

TT: {All Systems Down}